Distractions are quite a common problem in the busy world that many of us seem to live in these days. There’s just so much information to pay attention to, so many messages in the newspapers, magazines, on TV and even online. It’s impossible to take it all in.

We can only give attention to those things which we focus our interest and intent upon.

‘Focus’ is the best solution to this modern problem – especially if we are aware that our unconscious minds provide us with more of what we are focusing on.

The main problem that arises for many people is that we often allow our focus to drift from those things we “should” do, to those things we “shouldn’t”.

The trouble is that many of the things on our “shouldn’t list” are more compelling than those that we need to get done.

So is it a good solution to make those distractions less compelling and amp-up the feelings of the things we need to do? It’s certainly one way to go about it, though it’s not necessarily the most ecological solution.

You see, how we react to these differing aspects of the world has a lot to do with how we code that experience. It’s like having two separate containers – one for the “shoulds” and another for the “shouldn’ts”. And the contents of those two containers aren’t allowed to interact and find a natural balance.

So we need to create a channel for communication between the two, allowing us to sort according to our priorities. Here’s how I created this new balance for a friend.

First, I wanted to find out what form each of these “containers” took in his mind.

His 'to do' list was an image of a list far in front of him, while the distractions took the form of a seductive voice by his left ear.

The first thing that I did was to move the voice upward into his visual field so that he could experience that information visually and see what was there.

It became another list of things to do! He had thought of these as distractions previously, but it turned out that some of them would be quite useful to do.

Now that both were both coded visually, it became easier to compare the items on each list.

I was careful to avoid any presupposition that one list was more 'useful' than the other. Instead, I transformed the distinction he had made from “important vs. distracting” to “need to do” and “nice to do”. Suddenly they were no longer framed as opposing each other and had instead formed a cooperative structure.

The next step was to sort everything from both lists into the new categories, so I told him to imagine a line of communication linking the two.

I noticed some distinct changes in his physiology at this point, while the sorting was going on. For completeness, I returned the 'nice to do' list back into his auditory field, where it could be of greatest use.

What followed was a pronounced shift in his state as he integrated the new structure.

I decided to test the change and extend the new learnings into the future at this point, with an emphasis on maintaining ecology.

Overall this seems to be a much better structure for him. The “need to do” list is in sharper focus while the 'nice to have' voice is very different from the previous “distracting” voice. More positive states are attached to each and everything has settled into a comfortable place in his schedule.

So many common problems can be solved quickly if you find out where communication needs to happen and re-structure internal experience so that it is easiest to make those connections.

I’d recommend that as an overall strategy for attaining inner balance and harmony.

What would you like to change about your “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts”?

©2006 Philip Callaghan

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